everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
