There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
