So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
