Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
