I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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