i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
