I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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