haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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