My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
