am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
