Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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