Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I need moral support for this bender
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
