I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
