bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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