Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
