she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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