my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
