how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She's not a foreskin expert like you
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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