Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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