Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
