I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
