How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
