i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
