Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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