So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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