I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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