Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
