somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
