I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
