i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
