Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
