I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
