We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Green mimosas i think yes
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
