I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
