i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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