ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
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He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
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It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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