She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
