We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
