he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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