I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!