so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
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i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
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I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.