You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs