don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
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they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
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I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️