I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
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Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
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She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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