When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
