I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
