Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
