One girl and one boy is just not enough.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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