I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Can Purell be used as lube?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
