I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
