we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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