I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
