she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
