They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
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Do I have a choice?
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the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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