Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
