it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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