flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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