A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
