Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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