I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
