So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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