he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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