I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
