Kiss
Puke
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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