I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
