I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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