College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
too bad you live with your parents still
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
