i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
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