its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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