Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
