I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you will always have a special place in my vag
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
