I feel like abortions should bother me more
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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