Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
